People expect the rules, principles, and patterns they learn to remain stable and constant. Using meaning is a matter of constructing ideas to make sense of the world, but it is plausible that these ideas will not correspond exactly to the world. It is necessary to generalise, to make inferences and draw conclusions, and so forth. On one general pattern in this use of meaning is false permanence any idea tends to over estimate the stability of the phenomena to which it refers. The idea is unchanging, but the reality changes.
Life is a process, which means that it is a relentless sequence of change. There is very little about life that is permanent, stable, or and changing. There is continual change in the basic biological facts that comprise life: eating, drinking, and eliminating weight, growth and ageing, illnesses in recovery, desire and satisfaction, and so forth. Likewise, the social aspects of life are constantly changing too. This can be seen in the formation, evolution, and dissolution of relationships, in meeting and reproduction, and in the structure of power in late relationships.
The the continuity of life is the continuity of the process, rather than a matter of being exactly the same entity over time. The extent to which life involves change can be readily seen by comparing the same organism at two different points in time. Consider, for example, a girl at the age of nine in the same person at 39. The atoms and molecules that make up the body have changed, probably almost entirely her size and shapes are quite different. Many of her physical capabilities and needs are different. Her social relationships are almost completely different. Many of the people in her social world at the age of nine were probably not around while those who are there at the age of 39.
Life, insured, involves constant change. Meaning, on the other hand, is based on stability and permanence. The very principle of language requires that meanings be stable. It would be impossible to use language to think or to communicate if words change their meetings from day today. It appears that the more changeable meanings stand to be the more abstract, complex high-level concepts. Concrete, specific, and immediate meanings tend to be more stable.'s concept of tree, rock, baby, help, and 12 have probably remain quite stable across the centuries. The higher level concepts as justice, God, and the country may be the ones to have undergone revision.
That's, life is the relentless process of change, where is the meaning is based on stability and permanence. When meaning is apply to live, therefore, stable concepts and ideas are superimposed onto phenomena that are constantly influx. In a sense, life and meaning have contradictory natures. The result of this contradiction is false permanence. At their ideas and concepts will generally tend to be more stable and constant than the phenomena they represent. Wherever meaning is apply to live, the meaning will tend to exaggerate the stability of things.
The tension between stable meanings and changing phenomena can be seen in the contrast between the biological processes of mating and the social constructed concept of marriage. The concept of marriage, as excepted, idealised, and institutionalised in our culture, is one of stability and permanence. Marriage is a fixed, and unchanging condition, began at the definite point in time and presumably continuing for the rest of one's life. There is a clear distinction between being married and not married, and someone's degree of marriedness does not fluctuate from day today or year to year. There is no such thing as being more married on Sundays then on other days.
In contrast, the actual phenomena of mating show considerable change. The attraction between the lovers may shift from passionate sexual desire to intimacy and shared experience. The intensity of the emotional bond may wax and wane, indeed, it would be a rare couple whose feelings towards each other remain exactly the same from hour two hour and from decade to decade. The attitudes , feelings and behaviours between the partners change gradually, and in some cases do so abruptly. Thus, marriage is the imposition of a stable idea of the changing relationship. The meaning of marriage is based on stability and permanence, but the living reality of the human relationship involves change, evolution, and growth. Marriage is that as an example of false permanence, in the sense that the idea in the institution imply more stability than the actual phenomena may warrant. The concept breeds expectations of stability and permanence which may not always be fulfilled. Marriage is more than idea, it is an institution. The effect of this meaningful structure may be to increase actual stability. Ending the marriage is difficult sense of commitment, and legal constraints may increase the likelihood that a couple will stay together. Current statistics show that between 40 and 50% of today's marriages will eventually end in divorce. When people get married, they do not expect ever to get the divorce. Thus, their ideas and expectations overestimate the permanence of the relationship. Marriage, in short, structures life according to stable, insuring categories that do not really correspond to the way life would naturally flow. Getting married is an act of imposing meaning on life. In the process, it forces life into a pattern of consistency and stability that may run counter to its natural inclinations. (Whether this is desirable or undesirable is irrelevant).
In addition to this socio-psychological analysis of the author I would like to raise few questions and ideas. What is going on with those marriages that lasted. Is The Myth of Forever true for them? I would argue that those people, whose marriages succeeded despite natural processes of change, may be having alternative way of perceiving “forever”- allowing change as natural inside relationship. This would be an idea of relative stability where relationships maintains despite or even thanks to change that brings the novelty as another major human need. So myth of “living happily ever after” could be replaced with “their relationship survived despite or thanks to ups and downs, challenges and changes that occurred on their part. They have been creating new ideas how to be together”